Resolutions!

I really don't like the idea of new years resolutions because they're so cliche and hardly anyone ever accomplishes them, especially me! But there is something about starting a new year, the idea of starting fresh and coming at things in a different way, that is so appealing. I took some time to think about why my resolutions always fail. There are several reasons I can come up with. 1) the goals are long-term and not paired with any short-term, attainable, and measurable goals. For instance, losing weight. I'll either make it a generic goal of simply that or I'll say something like...I want to lose 20 pounds. When I don't see results soon, I get discouraged and give up. There isn't anything to keep me motivated. But if I made smaller goals, like 4 pounds a month for example, I can start to see progress and start meeting little goals, thereby encouraging me to keep going. 2) the goals are something I feel like I should do, but not something I really want to do. Or maybe I do want to, but not as badly as I want something contrary to it. Maybe I want to lose weight, but not as badly as I want to eat chocolate. Maybe I think I should go to the gym everyday, but I don't really want to. I think there are ways of getting around this. (I know I keep talking about losing weight, but it's such a common one and something that, as cliche as it is, I do want to do.) But I think if maybe I broaden my thoughts of losing weight to more than just hours logged at the gym, I could start living a healthier lifestyle by doing other physical activities, making small changes, and eating tasty but healthy things--rather than completely cutting out things I love. And this brings me to the final reason I think my resolutions fail. 3) I make it all about restrictions and abstaining from things. What is meant to be a positive and encouraging endeavor becomes a negative and insufferable experience. So, maybe rather than only focus on things I won't do, I can focus instead of things that I will do. It seems much easier to start something new than to quit something old and familiar. Not to say I shouldn't cut some things down or make changes, but positive additions will go a long way, I think.

So, bearing all this in mind, I have come up with a few "resolutions" for 2011.

1. Eat more veggies! I feel like I hardly ever eat vegetables and there are so many choices out there that are tasty and super nutritious.
2. drink more water. Water is good for you in so many ways, it's free (we have well water), and it's refreshing!
3. search for more alternative recipes for some of our favorite dishes (ie, whole wheat pasta and breads, fat free sour cream, egg substitute, etc...)
4. find more ways to be physical throughout the day (walk around every 30 minutes at work, lift weights while watching TV, always take the stairs vs. the elevator, etc...)
5. do more physical activities for fun, like riding bikes, taking walks, dancing, etc...
6. spend more time outside. I feel like I'm always indoors! We have such a beautiful and spacious lawn and a nice pond outside our house and we never go out there! I want to spend time sitting on the front porch reading, fishing in the pond, walking around, and playing the lawn games we got for Christmas!
7. visit family more often. we tend to wait for reasons to visit people, and some people never provide concrete events or "reasons" to come see them...so we don't see them at all, or only once a year at Christmas. I want to see everyone more, especially siblings, cousins, and grandparents. I want to make plans to do this at least once a month.
8. hang out with friends more often. Scott and I always joke that we don't have friends. It's not that, it's just that we are homebodies. We love being at home and relaxing. And we love being together so much that we rarely feel the need for other people. But relationships are important to me and I want to be close with other people. There are people in my life who I love and I want to spend more time with them. I want to plan to do this at least once a month as well.
9. Spend more time with God. I used to spend at least 30 minutes a day in prayer and Bible study...just talking with God. I can't remember that last time I did that. I still pray and read the Bible, but not in larger segments of time, and I rarely give God my undivided attention. I honestly feel like I've lost a lot of the passion in my relationship with God and I want it back so badly, and I've been struggling with this for a few months now. I hope that seeking him through devoted time each day will help me grow closer with Him.
10. Continue paying off my student loans each month, even though I don't have to since I'm still in school. It seems smart to make payments before interest kicks in again. We stopped doing it b/c of Christmas expenses, but I want to start again.
11. Find ways to give more, whether it be with money, time, possessions, etc... We tithe regularly, donate to ministries, and volunteer regularly at the church. I don't feel like we're doing poorly in this area, but I believe there is always room to do more and I don't want to become complaisant in this area.
12. Read more books! I want to read at least one non-school related book a month. That doesn't seem like a lot, but I often get bogged down with school work, and if I do any outside reading it's the Bible. That is more important than other reading, but I think I have the time if I set it aside to read for fun.
13. Do at least one project around the house a month. There are lots of things I would like to accomplish in our home, but I rarely feel like doing any of it. But projects can be fun once you get into them, and I find that I'm always so much happier when the house is clean, organized, and put together. I want to do some work outside, paint several things, fix the trim around our fireplace, etc...
14. Make all A's each semester
15. and lastly--write more. This blog is about the extent of my writing outside of emails and school papers. I want to continue to blog, but also do some free writing every now and then. I don't know exactly what my goal is in this area. Maybe 10 minutes a day? That's not much, but it's good for starting out, I think. I really want to make these goals simple, attainable and measurable. And they need to be things I'm committed to. I can go ahead and tell you that I won't do all these things, but I hope to at least make small improvements in all areas.

So, there ya have it! Lose weight, yes--but through specific changes and additions. But really more than that, I want to grow in my relationships with God, family, friends, and myself. And of course, I want to grow with Scott--but that isn't an area that I need to set goals to accomplish. We are naturally awesome at being together! ;)

Santa or Jesus?

I was doing some Christmas shopping the other day and "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" played over the intercom. As I listened to this familiar Christmas song I thought about who Santa is and who Jesus is. Both represent Christmas in some way, but it would seem that Santa is more popular than Jesus. People stand in lines at the mall for hours so their children can sit on Santa's lap, we sing about him, he's everywhere you look in Christmas decor. Some of our most cherished Christmas stories have to do with Santa. How much of that time and energy is spent on celebrating and recognizing Jesus? I would venture to say not nearly as much.

So as I thought about this, I thought about the characteristics and roles of both Santa and Jesus. Santa is a happy, jolly, man who brings toys to children once a year. He watches them all year long to make sure they've been good. If they have been good, they get lots of presents. Supposedly, if they have been naughty, they don't get anything, or maybe a lump of coal. Now, most little kids get presents from "Santa" anyway, even when they've been naughty, but the idea is to convince them to be as good as possible so they can get the presents that they want from Santa. It's all dependent on their behavior for the whole year. Think about the lyrics to that song:

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
He's making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice
Santa Claus is coming to town
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!


It's really kind of weird if you think about it. It's almost like instead of teaching your kids to be good because it's the right thing to do, you teach them to be good because otherwise Santa won't bring them presents. I know most parents don't see it this way; they're just going along with a fun tradition. But if you really think about who Santa is...well he's not very forgiving, he shows favoritism, and he doesn't provide any real joy, only superficial happiness from possessions.

What's interesting is this is actually how a lot of people think about God. They think He's up there watching them all the time to make sure they're being good to see if they will be able to get into Heaven or not. They think if they're good enough, He'll answer their prayers or bless them with money and possessions. Much like Santa, they think He watches for a really long time only to make one decision--Santa decides what presents you get on one day based on a year's worth of behavior, and God decides if you get into Heaven based on a lifetime's worth of behavior.

But that's not at all true! God sent us Jesus on Christmas (technically it wasn't on Dec. 25th, but that's beside the point) as a substitute for His wrath. Jesus paid the price for our sins and poor behavior. Because of Jesus, we can not only be forgiven for our sins, but we get new hearts with the Holy Spirit living in us. He doesn't just forgive us, he SAVES us. And that doesn't just mean saving us from Hell, it means saving us from the bondage of sin that we live in while on Earth. Our new hearts change us to give us strength and goodness to defeat Satan and his powers of evil. That is totally and completely different than anything Santa does. Santa doesn't forgive us, he doesn't provide any assistance on doing the right thing, and he certainly doesn't provide any type of substitute to bear our mistakes. Um, so why is he more popular?

Just read some of the lyrics of another familiar Christmas song... "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen." And you tell me--who would you rather celebrate?

God rest ye merry, gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember, Christ, our Saviour
Was born on Christmas day
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

......
"Fear not then," said the Angel,
"Let nothing you affright,
This day is born a Saviour
Of a pure Virgin bright,
To free all those who trust in Him
From Satan's power and might."
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

.....
Now to the Lord sing praises,
All you within this place,
And with true love and brotherhood
Each other now embrace;
This holy tide of Christmas
All other doth deface.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

Help for a Friend

As most of you know, one of my coworkers Jan Reynolds has been struggling with a failing heart. I'm pleased to say that she is doing better than she was a few weeks ago. She actually started back to work this week, but only for half days. She is still very weak and has to be careful with everything she does. At this point she is just waiting on the phone call to say they have a heart for her. Please be praying with us that this happens soon!

I'm also excited to announce that the Georgia Transplant Foundation has opened up donations for Jan's medical expenses. A lot of the costs of the actual operation will be covered by insurance, but the medications and treatments she will continue to need after the operation are extremely expensive. Even with insurance, the copays alone can be too expensive for the average income.

I know money is tight for all of us right now with the holidays just around the corner, the recession, and general expenses. But I also know that we cannot out-give God. Please be praying about whether or not God would have you donate to this fund, and how much you should give. If you give faithfully and with a cheerful heart, you will be blessed. I'm not trying to say if you give to this God will give you a surprise check of some large amount, but I do believe if you give to Jan's fund, God will make sure you still have what you need. So, please, consider giving to this cause. It is something that is very important to me and my entire office. We all love Jan very much and want to help her in any way possible. Scott and I have made a small donation and plan to give more after our next paycheck. Every little bit helps, so even if it's only $10...it will help! And you can always give more later if you feel called to do so.

The website is
http://janshealthyheart.blogspot.com/2010/12/online-donations-now-accepted.html. This is the blog about Jan's condition, recovery, and fundraising attempts. There is a link on that post that will take you to the actual donation site. I thought you might like to see the blog first so you can read a little more about Jan. If you want to stay informed about this issue, please follow that blog.

Thanks so much for your donations and prayers! God bless!

The Ripple Effect

This message kind of piggy-backs off the last one about God making good from bad.

I recently read the book "Same Kind of Different as Me" by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. If you have not read it, PLEASE do! It's incredible! It's a faith-based book about the way God worked in the lives of a husband and wife and one homeless man. He brought them together in a way that changed all of their lives, plus the lives of countless others. And even if you aren't a "crazy Christian" like me, you can still enjoy this book b/c it's about humanity and real issues in the world.

There is one really sad part in the book. I read it and lay in bed crying with Scott looking very concerned. It's a true story, and I had a reaction similar to that of one of the characters. Why would God do this? Well, in the book we see several lives that are changed because of that one sad thing. Right away God revealed part of his purpose. Then, as I read it and felt encouraged and inspired by these stories, I realize I was being changed, too! The people that this happened to could not have known what type of effect it would have on anyone, and they certainly would not have predicted it would have any effect on me! But God knew. When God did that sad thing, He knew each and every life it would affect. He planned it that way.

Then I realized, everything that happens in this world is like a stone thrown into a pond. It has a ripple effect. One action (the stone thrown in the pond) causes lots of reactions (the ripples). I realized in that moment, I am a ripple of this one incident! And I don't personally know these people; I wasn't there when it happened. But it has changed me and countless others who knew the people, have heard the story, or have read the book.

This also reminded me of the movie Letters to God. It is also a book, but I've never read it. Sorry to spoil it for those who haven't seen it, but the little boy in the movie ends up dying from cancer. It seems so tragic because he has such unwavering faith throughout the whole movie, but God still takes him. But we see at the end of the movie how it has helped his family grow in their faith. Also, during the credits (this was a true story), we see testimonies and stories of real people who were touched and inspired by this story--particularly other cancer victims and survivors. Who knows how many people were saved because of the death of this one boy?

And of course that made me think about Jesus. He was perfect. Never sinned. Loved everyone. Was God's only son. And he was beaten and killed. God did that to his own son. And I'm not saying that to claim that God is heartless or anything. I'm pointing this out because of what happened due to Jesus's death. By his stripes we are healed! Because he died and rose again, we too can die to our old selves and rise again in Christ. Because he took on the wrath of God, we are saved from our sins and do not have to suffer in that same way. I mean, we can't even truly understand the amount and magnitude of the good that came out of that terrible event. I am a ripple.

Ripple effects don't just happen from bad things. "Same Kind of Different as Me" has lots of wonderful things that happen. And each of those things has affected me and others as well. It makes me kind of think of a boiling pot of water. Or a rainstorm. So many eruptions in the water, so many ripples--all colliding into one another, morphing along the way. That's kind of how life is. And what's awesome is it looks and feels chaotic to us, but it is all perfectly planned by God and He is completely in control of all those ripples. So crazy!

So, again, when something happens in this world and it doesn't seem fair and you question God and can't find any good in it whatsoever, just trust that there are ripples being sent out into the world, and good is going to happen. You may never see that good, but it's out there...even if it's several ripples away.

Making Good from Bad

Today I studied the story of Tamar for my women's small group at church. I have read this story a few times in the past, but had not given it much consideration. This time around I found it to be very enlightening. That's what I love so much about the Bible. You can read it time and time again and still find new revelations throughout.

For those of you not familiar with the story, it can be found in Genesis 38. I'll give you the recap. Tamar was married to Judah's son Er. After Er died, as customary in these times, Judah ordered his other son Onan to lay with Tamar so that she might give birth to a son who could carry on the family name. Onan basically practiced the method of withdrawal as birth control because he did not want to father a son that would be considered his brother's. (Which is how they would have viewed it) He ended up dying also. Judah had one more son but refused to give him to Tamar b/c he was afraid he would also die. So, Tamar left town. She heard that Judah would be visiting the town, so she veiled herself and pretended to be a prostitute so that he would sleep with her and she would bear a child. When Judah found out she was pregnant he sentenced her to be burned to death for adultery. When she proved that the baby was from him he said she is more righteous than he is, and he let her live.

Okay, so this story is really weird to us, much like most of the stories in the Old Testament. We can't really relate to those times. The practice of sleeping with your dead husband's brothers (and then tricking your father-in-law into sleeping with you) seems really off-putting to say the least. I found a few things interesting in this story.

First of all, the customs were so different back then. There were no real issues with men sleeping with prostitutes, but women couldn't sleep with anyone other than their husbands or they were sentenced to death! This is mainly because carrying on the family line was so important. It was okay, and even encouraged, that she sleep with her brothers-in-law because this would preserve the family line. If she slept with someone outside the family, it would be a disgrace because that child would not be part of that family. It was confusing to me that Judah claimed she was more righteous than he was. I mean, after all, she tricked him into sleeping with her. It seems they are both equally to blame for this. But her actions were seen as righteous because her attempts were to keep the family going by having a male heir. He had denied her his other son, thereby breaking such an important law and custom. It's just interesting to see the differences between today and then. At the same time, it's interesting to see how human kind has struggled with immorality and rash behavior since the very beginning. Many of these customs seem offensive to us, but how many people are out there in the world doing things like this or worse right now?

But the best part of this story--what I found especially encouraging--is actually found in Matthew 1:3. Tamar and the son she has from Judah are in the family lineage of Jesus Christ! Now you can argue for their reasons and possibly empathize with these people, but I think we can all agree that their actions were questionable and not entirely moral. But look what God did with their mess--He made Jesus! The one who saves the lost! How encouraging and awesome it is to see God turn something that we would deem as "bad" into something marvelous and PERFECT!

Not only is it an encouraging, but it provides a very good example of God making good from bad over a very long time period. Tamar and Judah's son was only the 3rd generation out of the 14 that lead to the birth of Christ. They definitely didn't see the awesome transformation of their mistakes in their life time. Nor did those in the lifetime after, or after that... I think that's an important point to remember. It's easy for us to proclaim that God makes good from bad, but when something "bad" happens in our lives, we always search for a direct result of it turning into something wonderful. And we can't always figure it out. This can be discouraging at times. We may start to doubt that God works all things together for our good or that He always uses what people do for evil into something for His glory. I think we need to remember that it may take a long time for that result to come about. We may never see it. It may affect someone else and not even be about us at all, and we may never know. Or it may cause a long term effect of something that doesn't even happen in our lifetime. We just can't possibly know for sure. But I believe we can trust that He truly does take the messes we create and transform them into beautiful things that will ultimately bring Him glory and benefit His people.

Lord, thank you for taking even my worst mistakes and using them to benefit the Kingdom in some way. Remind me of this whenever I may become discouraged with my life or the state of the world. Help me to see the good whenever I can, and fill me with your peace and joy in knowing that even when I can't see it--there is good to come in some way. Thank you for your unbelievable grace, love, and wisdom that you pour out on us each and every day. In your name I pray. Amen.

More than Enough

I was convicted about my doubt and disbelief last night.

Jan Reynolds, one of the ladies who works with me in CEPS, has been in the hospital for the past week with heart troubles. After surgery, a stroke, and coding once, she is still fighting for life. They found a bloodclot and determined that her heart is beyond repair. They are now planning to run tests to see if she qualifies for a heart translant. She has to stay hospitalized until she either gets a new heart or... something else happens.

Everyone in my office is sad and concerned for her. She's a wonderful lady who works constantly and is a HUGE part of our operations here in Continuing Ed. As the news keeps getting worse and worse, more people are saying, "All we can do is pray."

I have been praying for her and have asked everyone I can think of to pray for her as well. Last night in my Bible Study we prayed for her as a group. Again and again the phrase all we can do is pray ran through my mind. I realized I was looking at it as a very disheartening thing. There is nothing left that we can do to help her in our own power. At this point only God can help her. When we say this, we're usually implying that there is very little hope left. I went to bed last night, praying silently and feeling sad.

As the phrase went through my mind again, I feel like God really showed me something. I was not fully believing in the power of prayer. I was looking at it as a desperate last attempt to do something. But the fact is, all we can ever really do is pray. I mean, we can try to do things in our own power, but it's up to God to make things happen and we need His strength and wisdom to figure out the best things to do in situations. God is so much stronger and more powerful than any of our feeble attempts at fixing anything could ever be. So, prayer is always the best thing we can do. And it's not something we should go into with discouraged and downtrodden hearts. We should turn to God will joy and hope and ask him to help us, knowing that He cares for us and He will help!

So, as we're all praying for Jan--and I hope you'll join me--I hope we all remember that God loves us and that NOTHING is impossible in the name of Jesus! Prayer is not a last resort, prayer should be first! Because if we really believe all the wonderful things we say about our God, well shouldn't we be extremely confident in His power to heal and save? Prayer is not hopeless, prayer is the answer. God can and WILL move in our lives! If all we can do is pray, then we must believe that that is more than enough.

The Joys of Autumn!

I'm loving this fabulous fall weather! I feel bad for Scott having to ride to work in the mornings on a motorcycle in 45 degree weather...but aside from that point, this weather is fantastic! I know I usually don't blog about the weather. I usually wait until God puts something on my heart to write about. But today I'm just overflowing with happiness as I'm taking in the change in weather, and I just had to write about it. Don't worry--it involves God, too! :)

Fall brings me a mix of emotions. Mostly I feel alive again when the weather starts turning and the temperature starts slowly dropping. I'm a weaker version of myself in the summer. The heat is so stifling. I hide out indoors, avoiding the suffocating heat, the sweat, and the bugs (namely--gnats and mosquitos). But as soon as autumn starts coming around the corner, I want to take walks, ride in the car with the windows down, dance around and sing happy songs! My body just prefers this type of weather.

The first fall breeze takes me places emotionally as well. This year I was overcome with feelings of new love as I remembered the excitement of 3 years ago...constantly messaging with Scott on facebook, incessantly texting, staying up talking until 5 am, walking around campus listening to Better than Ezra and Jason Mraz and thinking about how I am falling hopelessly in love. Now as I drive down the road with the windows down or walk through campus, my heart flutters and my pulse quickens and I swear my stomach feels a little nervous--it's like my skin remembers falling in love with Scott and relates it to the coolness of the air. I'm loving every second of that feeling! I hope I never forget what that felt like. (This is a Better than Ezra song that I listened to over and over. I also severely overplayed the Wicked Soundtrack)






Fall also brings reminds me of new love because it was last fall that I fell in love with Jesus. I had recently withdrawn from the Masters in Teaching program at GSU after deciding that teaching wasn't what I really wanted to do with my life. Because I had been student teaching, I didn't have another job. That meant after leaving that program, I was not only not in school, but I was unemployed as well. I had a LOT of free time on my hands for about 3 months. Parts of it was nice, like sleeping in and doing things at my pace and having time for errands and chores. Other parts were not so nice, like feeling useless and like I wasn't contributing enough. But the best part of it was that I had enough free time to really sit down and focus on God. I had wanted to set aside 30 minutes of God-time a day for a long time, but always claimed to be too busy. I had never really read much of the Bible, aside from Genesis and snippets of the NT. I had prayed lots of times, but never for more than a minute or so at once. So, I took the time to sit down with worship music playing softly in the background. I started with a prayer, then dove into the Word. I first studied Ephesians. There was no real reason for it. I just happened upon a verse from that book and decided to study it more. I would read a little and pray about it, think about it, and journal about it. It actually took me a week to get through Ephesians (it's not a long book) because I studied it so intently. By the time I was done, I understood and knew God like never before. I finally understood the glory of the Gospel! And that's when I was saved. While I don't have much free time at all this time around, I'm still reminded of that feeling of being newly saved, of figuring out how to live with my new heart, and of feeling true unconditional love for the first time ever.



Autumn just fills me with joy! It reminds me of how God turned my life around, first by bringing me and Scott together, which really changed my life, and secondly by saving me and opening my eyes to His love. I'll never be the same! Now with each cool breeze and breath of sweet, crisp air, I come alive. My body awakens from the summer long sluggishness, and all my senses are reminded of falling in love. Thank you, God for this fabulous season!