To my Toddler --

October 9, 2013 - Welcome to the world, Baby Grayson!

Mommy & Daddy were so overwhelmed with love!

About a month in and we started looking like we knew what we were doing! ;)

Our little family - Grayson at 4 weeks

Calming a fussy baby never looked so sweet! - Grayson at 4 weeks

Trying out the K'Tan at 4 months

6 month photo shoot :)

Grayson's Dedication - 6 months

Family Selfie at the Jacksonville Zoo! - Grayson at 7 months

A little family "House Hunters" time at the hotel in JAX - Grayson at 7 months

About to watch Daddy cross the finish line of his first 1/2 marathon! - Grayson at 10 months

Happy first birthday, Grayson!

Such a big boy now! :)

Dear Grayson,

You are officially a year old! We made it through a year! You and me and Daddy. The three of us constantly trekked forward into exciting yet scary unknown territory, as each month brought new joys and new challenges. We made it through the first couple of weeks, with me crying every day for unknown reasons, lugging around sore and swollen boobs like boulders strapped to my chest, and you wanting to eat all.the.time. We made it through the first two months, constantly moving your legs, rubbing your tummy, and giving you daily gripe water and Zantac for your gas and reflux. Me practically starving myself because I limited my diet to not much more than water for fear that everything I ate might cause you to react negatively. Daddy worrying that you didn't like him because all you wanted was me and your fussy time generally kicked in right when he got home from work. Fortunately you had your "Everest" Saturday mornings to bond.

We made it through me going back to work, through the transition of leaving you with Ms. Stephanie, finding out she was pregnant again, and then transition to daycare. We made it through the tears, the separation, and the impossible decisions.

We made it through tummy time and your frustrated cries. We celebrated together, all of us, as you learned to roll over and then scoot around --first backwards, then side to side, and finally forward. We watched in awe as you mastered crawling, then pulling up, and now walking! We frantically child-proofed and still chase you around the house as you discover new things to get into all the time (today you discovered the toilet paper roll...).

We made it through introducing food--you getting used to the feel of things in your mouth, us being patient and calm as you gagged and even vomited from trying new foods (not choking!). We were persistent in continuing to try new things, little by little, until you showed more interest. And you learned to express yourself--to ask for more and say "all finished" with sign language. You taught us what foods are your favorites by shoveling them in your mouth for as long as we'll keep offering them (black beans!). There was a time that we worried about food. That Daddy said, "I guess he'll never eat!" And now you feed yourself with ease. You grab things with your fingers, but you are also learning to eat with a spoon or fork, and actually from a bowl or plate (rather than just the high chair tray). You also drink from a sippy cup on your own. You only get one bottle a day now at school, and we're about to take that away too. Just cups and boobies for you, little one! :)

The three of us have been talking for a while now. First you spoke to us in tiny grunts and coos, then higher pitched squeals, then consonant sounds, then babbling, and now a mixture of babbling and real words. You walk around the house chanting "ball, ball, BALL!" as you carry around balls of various sizes. You call us by name, and you repeat so much of what we say to you. You also like to say cat, bottle, no-no, uh-oh, hi!, hey!, "geet" (get it!), duck, and hello, among others. You also respond to our questions and commands, proving that you understand us. I ask if you want milk; if you do, you pull down on my shirt. I ask if you want dinner and you walk to the kitchen, excitedly. I ask if you want to watch Bugs and you'll say "BABBM" and try to turn on the TV with the remote. Last night I asked if you were ready to go night-night and you say "nigh-nigh" and reached for me to get you out of the tub. When I asked you again after you were lotioned and dressed in PJs, you walked over to the rocking chair and laid your head down on the seat. You are so smart! :)

We are still making it through things. We are making it through ever-shifting nap schedules and interrupted sleep at night. We went from sleeping in the pack 'n play by our bed, to spending partial nights IN our bed, to transitioning to your own crib, and now -- working on staying in your crib all night, rather than getting moved to our bed about halfway through. Bedtime has transformed from you just sleeping whenever and wherever you feel like it, to starting to feed and rock you to sleep when we went to bed (around 9:30), to putting you to bed around 6:30, and now -- getting you to sleep between 7 and 8. The routine has included rocking, stars on the ceiling, and daddy playing guitar. Then it became just you and me, nursing, rocking, singing songs, telling stories, and whispering prayers. Now, we're really working on doing some of that, and then falling asleep already in your bed. As I said, we're still making it through things!

We've had some scares and some flustered trips to the doctor (many of it b/c you happened to have a first-time parent for a mom!) -- does he have thrush? (no) does he have a dairy sensitivity? (yes, then no, then well...maybe just a little) do I have oversupply? (yes) what is that rash?? (a viral rash) not HFM?? (no) really? (really, no.) what about this one?? (still no) we accidentally fed you honey baked beans! Are you going to die? (very unlikely) you hit your head, should I be concerned? (probably not). WHEW! It has felt like a lot, but in reality, you've never had a fever, stomach bug, or anything too serious. You've never even had a bad diaper rash or cradle cap! You rock, kid! (well, you and the breast milk!)

You love music and we've had a journey with that, too. From the time I was pregnant and made a playlist for your birth that I always played, to the dance parties we had when you were a newborn, to all the little kid songs and nursery rhymes, to Disney Pandora, to Daddy playing the "tar" (what you call guitars), you just love music! You love listening intently, bobbing to the beat, singing in little la-las, and sometimes even drumming pretty darn close to the actual rhythm! You were born with that talent, and I just know you will do impressive things one day! :)

Just like you, our relationship has also grown, matured, developed and changed this past year. From the way I hold you to the games we play and the conversations we have, you are blossoming into a big kid right before my eyes. Suddenly I'm the mom of a toddler! I still call you "my baby," but there is no denying that you are a toddler.

Mommy and Daddy love you, little boy. We love you in ways we didn't know we could. We love each of your features in ways we never expected to love a nose or mouth or tummy. You fill our house with joy and laughter. This year was hard, just how everything that is worth doing should be hard. You stretch us. You challenge us. You lead us to God in praise and prayers for petitions daily. I couldn't ask for a better first year, and I look forward to the many more to come!

I love you, Smo-Face! Keep on being awesome! :)

Love,
Mommy