This is not an uncommon argument or question against Christianity. And honestly, it's not always easy to answer. I understand how she feels, and I understand why it can be more attractive and easier to write off the whole thing than confronting the fact that some of your most dear loved ones might be going to Hell.
But I think the larger problem here is that we're viewing salvation all wrong. With this view, it's almost as if we're assuming that everyone would be going to Heaven, except that God is pointing his all-powerful finger at certain people and saying, "Nope! Not that one." That is certainly not the picture of a loving God. And if that's the way you think salvation works, it's no wonder you struggle with accepting God for who He is.
I admit this is an overly simplistic analogy, but I like to think of it this way: God created man to be safely on a boat. God provided everything the man needed on the boat. God's only stipulation was you have to stay on the boat. But man (or in this case, man and woman), decided to jump out of the boat instead. God could have let them drown out there. After all, they brought that on themselves. But instead, he provides a lifeline...Jesus jumps off the boat and rescues us! But of course, we have a choice. We can choose to cling to Jesus to save us, or we can continue flapping and flailing in the water, determine to save ourselves. Of course, no one can ultimately survive that way. Now, we are all created and born into the water because of the choices of those who came before us. We are all subject to the harsh winds and waves, trying to consume us. But Jesus is still out there in the waters, offering himself up to save us. But still, we have to choose to accept his help and hold on tight. We have to let him lead us out of the water.
Many drowning victims will panic and push their rescuer under water trying to save themselves. That doesn't work. We can't push away Jesus when he reaches out to us. And we can't just ignore him and keeping swimming on our own. The only way to salvation is to trust him with our very lives.
Here is my point -- God is not pushing certain people out of the boat. In other words...he's not sending certain people to Hell! People are already in the water. God is offering a way to salvation, and people have to accept the rescuer's help.
So it's not really elitist and unfair. The only unfair part is that Jesus has to leave the boat when he did nothing to deserve that. But he did it for you. That is actually incredibly loving and accepting.
Maybe this analogy doesn't quite resonate with you. That's okay. But if, instead of just accepting cultural Christianity viewpoints, you think about what really happens in the Bible, you take time to really study and understand it, and you pray about it (even if you don't believe in prayer...what's the harm, then?), I think you'll come away with a different understanding and viewpoint.