A line is a line, no matter how faint!

We're expecting another little pumpkin! Coming April 26, 2016!

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We do not know the sex yet. The chalk color was a coincidence! :)

I don't think Grayson quite understands it yet. But he talks about the baby in mommy's tummy and will tell us if he wants a baby brother or sister (but his answer changes each time!).

Just like when I was pregnant with Grayson, I wanted to document my feelings as close to when I actually discovered my pregnancy as possible. Of course, I don't want to tell the whole wide world yet, so I'm saving this post for after I announce. If you're reading this, I must be in or close to my 2nd trimester! Hooray! :)

But in reality, as I'm writing this, I'm 5 weeks, 4 days! I took a pregnancy test last Tuesday (8/18/2015). Just like with Grayson, I was not really expecting it to be positive. We had just started trying this month. Last time it took 3 months, so I was expecting similar results this go-round. I also apparently do not understand the female cycle because I wasn't even sure I was physically able to be pregnant yet, much less have a positive test. But that day for lunch I had deli meat turkey, wrapped around sliced cheese and avocado. I ate the first few pieces and then couldn't bring myself to finish the rest. Intense nausea washed over me. I didn't think much of this. I'm not really a big fan of deli meat, it was really hot outside, and I had been suffering from intermittent nausea over the past month or so due to some hormonal fluctuations from weaning. So, I didn't immediately assume I was pregnant.

The nausea lasted the rest of the afternoon. The very thought of the turkey made me feel sick to my stomach! I couldn't even bring myself to throw my leftovers away until the very end of the day because I didn't want to go near it. Driving home I thought...maybe...just maybe... Even so, I still thought it was way too early to take a test. But we had purchased 25 test strips for pretty cheap on Amazon recently. I figured I would want lots of them as we were trying to conceive over the coming months (ha!). So, there was no harm in going ahead and taking one. Plus, I was planning on having a beer with dinner (Taco Tuesday, hello!), so I figured better safe than sorry on that one.

I had never used the test strips before, so I wasn't sure what to expect. I did the deed and waited 5 minutes. Came back for a quick peek. It looked like there might be a second line there, but if so it was extremely faint. Scott came in to confirm. He agreed it looked negative. But I had this nagging feeling that it was positive. I did some Google searches and everything I read said even a faint line meant positive. I knew this because with Grayson the line was very faint. But with these little strips, the whole area was kind of pink...so I was concerned maybe the cheap test just had leaky ink or something. I took a second test and had similar results. By this point, we were driving ourselves crazy! We decided the only way to confirm that this isn't just how tests look when anyone pees on them was to have someone who was definitely NOT pregnant pee on one. Ahem, Scott. Yes, my husband peed on a stick for me!

After comparing his tests with mine, it was quite clear that he had absolutely no second line, whereas I did, albeit a very faint one. We were still hesitant to consider ourselves pregnant. We didn't want to get our hopes up. But I still refrained from that beer!

We went to my OB on Monday of this week (8/24) and they confirmed the results! Of course, it was too early (based on my cycle) to do an ultrasound. I go back next Weds (9/2) for an ultrasound, so I'll know more then. But basing it on my cycle alone, my estimated due date should be around April 23, 2016! :) {update-- it would seem my cycle was fairly irregular due to weaning recently, and my actual due date is April 26, 2016. I wasn't quite as far along as I thought when I wrote this post!}

It's a strange feeling, this early pregnancy with baby #2. First of all, I'm still too nervous to get too excited. I know miscarriages are very common, and I have many close friends and family who have experienced them. I will be glad when I can hear that heartbeat next week!

It's weird remembering all the little things about pregnancy that I had forgotten or not thought about in a while. I'm giving everything I eat and drink a lot of thought! Caffeine was never a problem the first time b/c I wasn't a big coffee drinker. Since having Grayson, I've been a 1-2 cups a day kind of girl! I'm limiting myself to one cup per day (usually green tea instead of coffee b/c less caffeine) or a cup of half-caf coffee. I know you're allowed 200 mg, but I'm trying to be cautious in these earlier weeks.

In a lot of ways, I'm more confident and feel more prepared than I did before. None of this is brand new (so far!), so there is comfort in that. On the other hand, there are no guarantees that my experiences will be the same (I wish there were!!). I'm anxious to discover if I'll have a lot of nausea again (none so far since that one day with the turkey!), if I'll escape pregnancy without throwing up, and if I'll have as smooth of a labor and delivery. Of course I'm also curious what baby #2 will be like. Boy or girl? As awesome as Grayson? Yes, I worry that the next one won't compare. I know that's ridiculous. But right now, it's hard to imagine loving another baby as much as I love Grayson. I know all that will change, but right now, I still get a little sad thinking about having to share my affection with another child. I worry that I'll miss these sweet times of just the three of us.

But I remind myself that I had the exact same fears when I was pregnant with Grayson, and wondering if I would miss the times with just me and Scott. Change is always uncomfortable, but that doesn't make it bad. I have NO idea how we'll handle two kids! Like, no idea at all! haha! But I'm confident we'll figure it out just like we did with Grayson, and I know we'll nail it (at least most of the time!). :)

I'm dying to share my news with everyone!! Only a few people know right now. I can't wait for that first ultrasound! It's exciting and scary and wonderful! And now I just wait for it all to play out!