My Love Story With Jesus: Part 4 (The Wonderful Part!)

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Scott & I got married in May of 2009. We definitely considered ourselves Christians. We were going to church, and—still slowly—learning more about God. Our friends Christine & Brice were huge sources of encouragement. To be honest, at first we were put-off by them. We got defensive when they witnessed to us. We felt like we were doing just fine, why should they tell us how to live? Of course, that’s not what they were doing, but that’s how it felt to our hardened hearts. But they were consistent. Always loving us and pouring into us with God’s love and truth. Christine invited me to join a Bible study with her. She was the only girl I knew in the whole group, but I went for a few weeks. We were reading a book called Becoming a Woman of Excellence. It was one of those study books where you had topics and verses and you had to answer questions and reflect on things. Therefore, I was spending more time in The Word. Reading the Bible had always been something I thought of as too boring or confusing to do much of. I didn’t think I would ever actual enjoy it or get anything out of it. The majority of my Bible reading happened in church. But because of this book I was led to scripture, and God spoke to me through that.

While this was going on, I was going through another life transition. I was in my second year of graduate school to become a teacher, a few months into student teaching, and I withdrew from the program. I decided not to teach. But I had no other plans. No job. No classes. So, I spent a lot of time at home alone for the next few months. In my free time, I decided to devote 30 minutes a day to God. I had always heard people talk about their “quiet time” or “time with God.” I figured I would give that a shot. I started out mostly reading and studying for my Bible study group. Then I decided to branch out from that a bit. But as I said, my knowledge of the Bible was sparse. I didn’t know where to begin! One day, during my quiet time, I picked up a book I had received from college graduation: The Purpose Driven Life for the Graduate. It’s basically just a book of verses, grouped together by different topics. I figured I would start there, find a verse or two that sounded interesting, and then go to The Bible for more depth and clarity.

The very first verse I stumbled across was Ephesians 1:4-5. “For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love, he predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will.” The first thing that jumped out to me was “holy and blameless.” I had been trying to be holy and blameless for so long. I was so tired and frustrated at always failing, at never feeling fulfilled. Why does He call us to be perfect when it’s IMPOSSIBLE?? But then I studied the verse further. I read through it several times, read the surrounding verses, read the commentary in my study Bible, and prayed about it. I probably spent a whole 30 minutes thinking about that verse! And I can tell you with absolute certainty and joy that when I walked away from those 30 minutes, I was a different person. I was saved, and I believed it!

I’ll break the verse down for you a bit, so you can see how this really opened up Christianity to me in a way I had never understood before. First of all, God chose me. Before the world even started! He knew me and chose me as a child of God! I realized the importance of being holy and blameless “in His sight.” I will never be perfect on this side of eternity, but I can find peace in knowing that God sees me as perfect. He is amazingly forgiving and, not only that, he forgets my past! It’s erased, gone, as if it never happened! Of course, it still impacts me, though I try not to let it. But to God, I never committed those sins. All that stuff I was feeling guilty about—forgotten! I realized God adopted us as children through Jesus. Not through me being a good person. Not through me making all the right choices and putting forth just the right amount of effort. Not through me abstaining from sex or going to church. JESUS did it. NOT ME.

And let me tell you, when you understand that—and I mean really grasp what that means, and when you believe that, you can’t help but to look at the situation differently. I suddenly realized: this is not about me! It’s about Jesus! All that pressure of having to be perfect was lifted. Suddenly I was overcome with thankfulness, joy, and love for Jesus for making that sacrifice for me and bridging the gap between me and God. And when you really believe what Jesus did, you suddenly don’t feel like you’re fulfilling a mandatory do’s and don’ts list to get to Heaven. You don’t feel tired and frustrated and like giving up. You feel unbelievably thankful, and all you can do is worship God for that. I cried tears of joy and relief. I let go of all my self-righteousness and decided right then and there that I was relying on the righteousness of God to cleanse me, guide me, and eventually bring me to Heaven.

After that all I wanted to do was learn more about my God and Savior! I was fired up! I read through the New Testament like it was addictive Young Adult fiction! I spent at least 30 minutes a day singing worship music, journaling, writing poetry, and reading the Bible. I was constantly jotting down verses and leaving them around the house—on the fridge, bulletin boards, our dry erase board was filled with them! I wanted to share all that I was learning with Scott. He was excited for me, but was also a little overwhelmed. He tried to read the Bible every day, too, but I could tell he was doing it because he felt guilty otherwise. He wanted to share in my enthusiasm. But I could tell it was forced.

Praise God that within just a few short weeks, Scott was also saved! He came to the same realizations I did during a church service where the pastor talked about God’s grace in his life. Scott left that service in tears, admitting that this was the first time he understood and appreciated God’s grace. And then he joined me in my “crazy Christian” antics. We read the Bible together, prayed together, went to church and a college service during the week.

Eventually the church service we were attending closed down. You can imagine my sorrow and frustration that yet another church I had grown to love was ending. We started going to the regular church services at First United Methodist, but found they simply weren’t fulfilling (or interesting) enough. So, thus began our church-shopping ventures part 2! That was a whole new chapter of challenges. We would try a church, talk about our likes and dislikes, and pick a new one… And there were plenty of times that we did not agree on everything. I wanted to go to Christine & Brice’s church, but Scott wasn’t feeling called there. I decided to submit to his spiritual leadership and trust that God would guide Scott to the perfect church home for us. And God did just that. We ended up at Connection Church, where we still attend—a year and a half later. Connection is a plant-church, and it was only a little over a year old at the time. It was still pretty small. But it has since grown tremendously! We now meet in a high school auditorium and sometimes have up to 700+ attendants! Scott & I both serve as leaders in different entities of the church. I work with the babies in children’s church. Scott works as a team leader in the parking lot, and has recently started leading worship for the 1^st thru 5^th graders in children’s church.

On October 9, 2011 our church did spontaneous baptisms. We had gotten a baptismal pool from another church that was moving, and they set it up in the parking lot. They did not tell us ahead of time that we were doing this. The sermon was all about taking the next step in your walk and how for many of us, that was a public demonstration of our dedication to God and the washing of our sins—baptism. Well, you know I was already baptized when I was 17, but I could hardly compare that to who I am now. That baptism was important and special to me, but I don’t think it was a true “believer’s baptism” as I didn’t understand the truths of what I was doing and who God is. Scott was baptized as a baby in the Catholic Church, but obviously could not remember that, nor did he have a choice in that matter. We both decided to get baptized at Connection on this day! It was an amazing experience. 54 people in our church made the decision to get baptized that day! It was powerful and beautiful. Here is a video documenting the day. Please watch. It’s short, but powerful!

Spontaneous Baptisms from Connection Church on Vimeo.

And now, I cannot say that my life is perfect. I’m not perfect. And I have seasons in my faith. Some days I don’t feel particularly excited about or connected to God. Some days I’m angry with Him. Sometimes I feel tired and frustrated like I used to. It really is a constant journey and a series of lessons—many of which I learn over and over again. But I have joy unlike any other time in my life, and that joy is unshaken by the world because it comes from God and my relationship with Him. And even if that’s not as smooth as I like, I know that God is good, faithful, and merciful…He is always there to guide me, provide for me, love me, forgive me, and accept me. And for that I am eternally grateful. And with that gratitude, comes all the worship and service I give to Him. And I am happy to do it.

My love story with Jesus is by no means over. It’s an eternal story that will continue to develop. But this is how it all started, and I can say with all certainty we will live joyfully ever after…