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Dear Adam,
This week you turned 4 months old. The world is a crazy place these days. There are tragic things happening world-wide, volatile emotions and pride are leaving big, gaping divisions among people, and our country is in an election season that you'll one day study in your History or Government classes. It will probably be referred to as that time America lost its mind.
But you, my sweet boy, are just now exploring beyond your immediate surroundings. What you know still holds true -- when you're hungry you will be fed, when you're sad you will be snuggled, hugs and kisses are nice, and the white noise of the fan is perfect for being lulled to sleep. You're also actively discovering more -- moving your body certain ways leads to different perspectives; there is more to see beyond our faces or the alluring glow of a lamp; books, TV, and toys all have varying colors, sounds, and textures to offer your exploring little hands, feet, and mouth. You are eager to learn and take it all in. I am so thankful for your curious mind, and even more thankful that, for now, I can still limit your exposure to the world so that you don't have to know the bad parts just yet. You can just enjoy the sweet taste of milk, the warmth of my arms, the exciting bounce of the "Dora the Explorer" theme song, and the calming sway of your infant swing. This is such a simple and joyful age. I wish I could freeze time and soak in your precious giggles and smiles and your tiny little fingers around mine. Before I know it you'll be too big for that swing and too busy for cuddles. I know each stage is wonderful in its own way, but I have to say, I'm really loving this one.
You rolled over for the first time a few weeks ago. I came to get you out of bed and you were on your tummy! I assume you did it by accident. Now, however, you can roll freely and with ease, from back to tummy. I haven't seen you go from tummy to back just yet. But you immediately roll over when I lay you on the floor and you kick your legs and pull on the blanket with your hands...kid, you will be scooting forward so soon!
You have the best little voice! You talk all the time. Energetic little coos and ahhs and giggles. This morning you were nursing and Daddy and I were talking to Grayson. He made us laugh, as he so often does. You heard us laughing and you popped off with the biggest grin and started laughing too! I swear, it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. My heart almost burst!
Sleep is still going well, though you're probably (hopefully) going through the infamous 4-month sleep regression. You still sleep well, for a baby, but you wake up twice now instead of just once. Of course, you are also going to bed earlier (6:30-7), so that could be why also. The past two days you've woken up around 5:15, which is a little too early, but I think that's mostly because you've been "sick." I put that in quotations because I'm completely stumped as to whether or not you are actually sick. For weeks now you've been stuffy, coughing, and sneezing at night and early morning. You wake up coughing and have a hard time nursing because your nose is stopped up. Sometimes we're able to suck some stuff out, but many times it just seems to be swollen sinuses or something. But during the day, you're perfectly fine. Daycare says you don't seem sick at all. You are happy, playful, eat and sleep well, and don't cough or sound stuffy. So, what's the deal, littlest? Are you allergic to something? Dust? The cats? I've tried to keep things extra clean for you, but sometimes it can be tough to eliminate those triggers completely. I've read you're too little for allergies like that, but I just don't know. How can you have these cold symptoms so consistently at night but nothing during the day? I feel like if you didn't have this going on, you would be sleeping more soundly.
You love your brother. He's so fascinating! But he's also a little alarming. You are adventurous though. Even when Grayson is a little too rough, like this morning when he tried to stand on a ball and it rolled away from him and bumped into your little face...you didn't cry at all. You seemed surprised and then started smiling like nothing had happened. It won't be long and you'll be imitating Grayson and getting yourself hurt in the process.
I love how easy-going you are. Uncle Brett recently commented that he doesn't think he's ever heard you cry. Fuss for a second while you impatiently wait for milk, maybe, but not really cry. Daycare always circles "happy/content/curious" and never any of the other emotions on your daily reports. People are always referring to you as sweet, happy, chill, or calm. While I appreciate how easy you make things, I think my favorite quality of yours is the joy you emanate. You are always smiling or babbling excitedly. And if you're calm and quiet, all I can think is how you are the perfect image of peace. I know you're a human and you aren't perfect and you'll battle sin in your life, but I imagine when I look at you, I have a small fraction of God's perspective when he looks at us. I love you fully, completely, unconditionally, and see only your most wonderful qualities.
Never lose that sweetness. Never lose your joy. This world is scary and heavy with sadness, much of the time. But somewhere in the mess of it all, there is always joy to be found. Jesus gives us that, my littlest. Never, ever lose your ability to find that and hold on tight.
Love,
Mommy
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