Dressing Sexy

Lately I have been noticing girls dressing more and more provocatively. I realize this is not really a new trend, but for some reason I've just been noticing it more lately. I'm especially shocked to see girls come to college recruitment events and ceremonies dressed like that. (I work at a university) Extremely short skirts, shorts, and dresses, super high heels, and tops that are both low cut and mid-drift...sometimes it's all I can do to not turn to someone nearby and comment on how these girls need to find the rest of their pants. And I realize I shouldn't be so judgmental. I really shouldn't. Especially because I used to dress like that, too. Part of it is being young, part of it is being thinner, but most of it is not seeing myself the way God does.

I remember my freshman year of college, going out to bars, and wanting to look as sexy as possible. There was one club that many people went to on Thursday nights called Legends. It is no longer around, and that's probably for the best. It was basically an old warehouse full of intoxicated freshmen. But every year they had a "nighty night" which was a night to come to the bar wearing nothing but lingerie. And I'm embarrassed to say that my freshmen year, I went out and bought my first piece of lingerie, and wore it to the bar. To make matters worse, I even tried to walk there since I didn't have a car! Fortunately some people from my dorm stopped and let me in the back of their pickup truck.

WHY did I do that? Why would I want to make myself seem easy? Why would I put all my body on display like that for anyone to see? Why would I put myself in such a dangerous position? I am so thankful that nothing bad happened that night. I can only imagine the number of terrible things that could have happened to me...practically naked in a dark warehouse full of intoxicated, immature guys...walking at night to a bar...nevermind that it was wasn't classy...it wasn't safe!

So why did I do it? Well, I think the main reason was low self-esteem. I'm not a very outgoing person. Once you get to know me I'm funny and outspoken and a little bit crazy at times. But before that, I'm super quiet and a little awkward. I'm not good at meeting new people or making small talk. And if I'm in large groups, like at a dance club, I feel especially awkward. Also, I had recently broken up with my boyfriend of over a year because he stopped hanging out with me once I came to college. That definitely hurt my level of self-worth. I began to think I had nothing to offer or entice anyone. No one would want to hang out with me, get to know me, or pursue me as a romantic interest, which, let's face it, was an important consideration to my newly single self. So to make up for all the "deficiencies," I displayed the one thing I thought I had going for me...my looks. And not just looks in general, my body. I thought being sexy gave me some credibility, it gave me something to offer. Guys would want to talk to me and get to know me because I was sexy. Right? Well, no. Guys don't necessarily want to "get to know" sexy girls. But the point is, I was desperately trying to show off the only quality I thought was worth while. And by doing so, I essentially threw away the real characteristics I have to offer. No one looked at me and thought I was smart, funny, compassionate, trustworthy, etc... I was making them believe what I was believing about myself...I have nothing good to offer you except this body. And that's all that anyone was interested in that night or any other time I've dressed provocatively.

God doesn't see me that way. God didn't CREATE me that way. He gave me a great sense of humor. He gave me talents and wisdom and wit. He instilled kindness and gentleness and compassion in me. Yes, he gave me my body too, but not to diminish the quality of all my other gifts. I have learned to accept, or try to accept, the way God sees me. I am learning to believe it myself. And by doing so, I'm allowing other people to see and believe it as well.

Ladies, I am not trying to condemn you for the way you may dress. Instead I want to challenge you to accept and believe in the way God sees you. And I hope that you don't feel like you have to show off your body to be loved or admired. You have so much more to offer than just that. Don't sell yourself short. And don't believe any lies from the Devil that tell you otherwise. You are a precious creation of God. You have much to offer to the world. Own it!

Love,
Christy