Some days I'm struck with a blast from the past memory paired with a bodily reaction as if it were happening again, right at that moment. I thought it would be interesting and fun to post those types of memories as they come up. Everyone loves sharing stories, right? :)
Yesterday Britney Spears's new song "Hold it Against Me" came on the radio as I was leaving work. If you haven't heard the song, basically the chorus ends with "If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?" This is not remotely new or clever. You've all probably heard a cheesy line like this before. And you get it...right? Hold it against me? Ok--good.
As I listened to those lyrics I was flung back in time:
I was in middle school, probably 7th or 8th grade. I rode the bus everyday with some really hyper, rowdy kids. Most of them lived in my neighborhood or the one directly behind us, so I usually knew them pretty well. There was one kid--his name was Kenny. Actually his name was Kenny G-something-or-other. He liked to call himself Kenny G. So, needless to say, he was a real cool kid. He was one of those awkward guys who no one really liked, mostly because he came off as SUPER annoying, but he acted like he had some real game.
Sitting on the bus one afternoon, Kenny sitting in the seat across from me, he leans over and says, "Hey Christy. If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?"
Granted, I'm..what?...12 or 13? Never heard this pick-up line a day in my life. My brain hears: Christy. If I said you had a nice body, would you be mad at me? I'm thinking this is a little awkward, but he's paying me a compliment and even having the courtesy to make sure it won't offend me or make me mad by asking if I would hold it against him. I guess I'll just reply honestly.
You see where this is going.
I say, "Of course not. I would never hold it against you for saying that."
He laughs, but he clearly doesn't know where to go from there. Probably no one had ever responded that way before.
It probably took me a few hours to think back on that and figure out what he was really saying. Upon realizing he was hitting on me and I had blatantly missed the joke, I was extremely embarrassed. I was probably sitting in class or something with a pale face and panic gleaming from my eyes. I'm an idiot!!
I think I avoided him the next few days on the bus and in the neighborhood just to avoid the humiliation. You would think this isn't such a big deal, but when I thought about it yesterday I felt embarrassed all over again.
Now, if you really think about it, my answer wasn't really that embarrassing. The point of the joke is to get the girl to say "yes" because she's offended, and then you've tricked her into saying she would hold her body against you. I simply said no and that I would never hold it against him! Which was true. I'm holding onto some hope that I didn't appear completely oblivious and he just thought I was being cool in my response. I don't think so though. I'm pretty sure that I had a particular sweetness to my voice that, though I didn't actually say the words, was conveying a thank you and sense of flattery. Oh boy...now I'm embarrassed again!
It makes me wonder, how many times girls have been hit on with cheesy lines and not even realized it. I mean, if it's your first time hearing "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?" you might actually swoon a little. Maybe not. But it's really hard to know since we all are so familiar with this lame line.
What are some of the best lines you've gotten? Ever been oblivious to a really obvious line? I can only say that I hope your luck has been better than mine, and you do not fall victim to these cheese-fest lines!
Until next time....
~Christy
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