The Question

It seems that no matter who Scott and I hang out with, whether it be friends, family, or coworkers, they always ask us the question.

I can't really blame them. Scott and I have been married for nearly 2 years now, I'm a little over a year away from finishing my Master's, and Scott has a full-time, benefitted job. We're right there at that time period when the question is completely appropriate and to be expected.

So, for all of you who may be curious and itching to ask, I'm going to answer the question for you.

When are we going to have babies?

Well, I cannot truthfully answer that question for you because the only one who has control of bringing a creation into this world is God, and so far He hasn't given me any definitive answers. I can, however, tell you the plan. Which, as nice as it is, means very little since we can plan and plan and plan, but it's still not really in our control. I won't be pregnant until The Lord knits a baby together in my womb. But that isn't really the answer you're looking for, huh? Okay--I'll just tell you the plan.

The Plan:

I'm not looking to juggle being a mom with being being a student and working part-time. I do well taking care of everything right now, but I don't really need the added stress and obligations. Scott and I both flip-flop between wanting to be pregnant RIGHT NOW to wanting to put it off for a few years. I would say that Scott is probably more eager for it than I am. I know this is not the usual way, and I hope it doesn't make me seem uncaring. It's not that I don't love babies and want to be a mommy. I just want to be able to give my children the time and energy they deserve. I can't do that if I'm still trying to help myself by getting a degree. Many women are able to do this, and I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I don't want to stretch myself that thin. Knowing myself and my limits, it would be bad for me and for my children. I am, however, willing to be pregnant and a student. I know it would still be challenging, but I'm willing to give it a go. So, at the very earliest, I'm willing to start trying about 8-9 months before I graduate. Right now, this would be around October or so of this year. Whoa--crazy, right? Well, I doubt that will really happen because that's at the earliest and I'm not even completely sure that I'll be able to graduate in May. It depends on how heavily I want to take on my internships. If I do both at the same time next spring, I won't have time to work a paying job. We may not be able to financially make that work. In that case, I'll have to take one in the spring and one in the fall, additionally working part-time during both. In that case, I wouldn't be graduating until next December and won't be willing to start trying until around March of next year. Still, that's only a difference of a few months. Again, this is the earliest!! Nothing is to say that the time won't start creeping up and I'll freak out and change my mind, and of course there is no guarantee that trying will result in an immediate pregnancy. For some women it can takes months or even years, if they are even able to conceive at all. So, I say again, planning only goes so far with this thing.

In addition to the question we get asked the follow-up question:

Why are you waiting so long?

School is a big factor, as I already mentioned, but honestly I'm enjoying life with my husband right now. Kids change things, and I'm loving the lifestyle and dynamic we have going right now. I'm not in a hurry to move on to the next phase. For instance, since we've been married we've traveled to Aruba, gone on a Bahamas cruise, and we just booked a trip to Disney World for our 2-year anniversary. Traveling is much more complicated with children, and I'm not even sure we'd be able to afford things like this. So, I'm taking advantage of it right now! And yes, I know children and Disney World kind of go hand-in-hand, but you have to wait for them to be tall enough to ride the good rides, you have to deal with potty emergencies and sleepy-heads, and (if they're like I was) you have to drag them onto The Haunted Mansion only to be embarrassed by the shrill screams and sobs during the ENTIRE ride! I know it's a magical place, but...sometimes grownups need the magic all to themselves! ;)

Money is another factor. Yes, Scott currently has a full-time job, but it's not a job he's planning to keep forever. He may go back to school, change careers, and possibly be put back into the student or part-time worker role. I want to make sure he has time to figure out what he wants and work towards it before I go pushing more obligations onto him. If he decides he is willing to be a student and a dad, that's fine with me, but I want to make sure he gets the same choices I do.

Moreover, I just don't have Baby Fever right now. You might think that because so many of my friends and family are having babies that it would be difficult for me to be around them without desperately wanting one. Honestly, it's really more like birth control! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the babies and children I interact with. I work with the babies at church and love, love, LOVE it! And, of course, my beautiful, wonderful, fabulous niece Kylianne is one of my greatest joys. But I like being able to give those babies attention and shower them with love. I wonder if, after having a baby of my own, I'll be less excited about spending time with them. I'm sure I won't because the love isn't because they're simply babies but because they are unique individuals, but I still worry that I might be too busy with my own children to devote any time to others. And, to be honest, while I love being with my niece and friends' babies, I also love being able to hand them back to their parents when they get fussy! I'm not sure I'm ready to be the one that gets them back when they start crying, spit-up, or have a dirty diaper! And my general weak stomach for snot and vomit is really allowing me to cherish these moments of not being responsible for those things!

So, there you have it! I have answered both the question and the follow-up question. Have any more for me? I'd be glad to answer more or elaborate/clarify on these! :) And don't worry, as long as God allows, I DO plan to bless the world with a baby one day not too far away and, yes, I will let you hold him/her.