God Choices: London

{God Choices: GSU} {God Choices: SOAR Leader}

Time for my next story on what I believe to be a Spirit-led decision!

I don’t really consider myself a risk-taker. And as I mentioned in my SOAR post, I was extremely shy growing up. Before the summer of 2007, the farthest I had ever traveled was to Providence, Rhode Island for a distant relative’s graduation. I traveled with my aunt and uncle, slept through both flights, and did not do any sight-seeing beyond driving to and from the graduation. In high school I went to Washington, D.C. with my best friend Hayley and to New Orleans with my other best friend Kaitlin, but both trips were with their families. I had never traveled any distance on my own, and I had no real desire to. I had always heard people talk about Europe as such an exciting place, but it never once occurred to me that I may actually go there one day. I assumed traveling abroad was only for the fabulously wealthy. And when would I ever have such an opportunity anyway?

Then one day, I was in my Creative Nonfiction class, and the professor told us we were going to the lab for class to watch a presentation about an opportunity to study abroad in London. I inwardly groaned, thinking I would be sitting through a boring class about old buildings and history classes, all things that I wouldn’t be able to afford even if I wanted to.

But when the professor started her powerpoint and told stories of her many trips to London and all the opportunities we would have available to us, I suddenly was more intrigued than I ever anticipated. I learned that I could take all writing classes and I was overwhelmed with the thought of sitting at a coffee house in London or out by the River Thames and writing something...anything! For some crazy reason, I was actually contemplating it! But how would I afford it? What will my family say? Am I even brave enough to do it?

Despite the questions and concerns, I was bouncing with excitement after that class. I just knew that going to London would be wonderful. It’s not like I had a lifelong dream of going there. I didn’t even really know that much about it! I mean, I knew where it was, and a few of the famous landmarks (mainly Big Ben), but it wasn’t as if I had a mile long list of things I had always wanted to do. My interest and excitement was pretty random. I started telling friends and family and they were all very surprised/impressed that I would want to travel that far away on my own. Okay, not on my own. I would be with a whole group of students. But I would be without family or close friends.

Things just started falling into place. I applied for a scholarship and was awarded $500. My parents each pitched in to give me some money for the trip, my dad bought me a new camera to take lots of pictures, and for Christmas my grandma and grandpa gave me an outlet adapter and a promise to fund the rest of the trip! I found out that a girl I knew from some of my English and writing classes was also going on the trip, so I would actually know someone! We were really excited to be going together, and started bonding immediately as we talked about our upcoming trip.

Maybe my writing skills aren’t as good as they should be because I cannot even describe what London means to me. That trip changed my life. It changed me. Even though most of the experience was foreign to me, both literally and figuratively, I somehow felt at home while I was there. I have never lived in a major city. I had never frequented public transportation or walked crowded streets to get to places. I had never even been on a trip where I planned my own activities and budgeted my own money. And there I was, across the ocean from my family, and making all those decisions on my own. And I loved every single second. I still dream about London, and sometimes I wake myself up crying because I long to be there again. I dream about Big Ben. I dream about walking along the river and hearing street performers in the background, smelling the sweet scent of candied almonds baking in street carts. I dream about walking down a street of wet pavement, weaving through the rich British accents, heading towards a pizza place, Cafe Nero, Pret, or Tesco. I dream about boarding the tube and minding the gap. I dream of Trafalgar Square and Picadilly Circus. Of all the parks--Regents and Hyde especially. And I laugh at all the fond memories like seeing a man on Dover Beach toss his clothes into the ocean and walk away, having a sketchy guy take pictures of us under a huge tree in Hyde Park, and going to the red carpet premiere of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, trying to catch a glimpse of someone famous. London has left a stamp on my soul.

Trafalgar Square

London Eye

You gotta have the double-decker bus with inappropriate ad!

My favorite. Big Ben <3

At Picadilly Circus

Tube Station (note: you are NOT allowed to take pictures in there! I found out!)

St. Paul's Cathedral

At Dover Beach

At Regents Park

At Hyde Park

In Dover Castle

I feel frantic when I try to think back on it and it suddenly doesn’t feel real anymore, it seems a little hazy, and my senses start forgetting, one by one. I have to go back and watch videos, look at pictures, and read all my journal entries...just trying to soak it all up again before it fades away completely. I hope there is never a time that London is only a vague memory of something I once did. I hope it is always such a part of me.

Regardless of if the memories fade, however, London gave me a passion for travel, culture, and a new sense of independence. I came home from London thinking that I could do anything. All the limits I felt before seemed easy to step right over and keep on walking. Because of this, my entire course of life shifted.

That friend who went to London with me? Her name is Erin. She’s my sister in law now. I had a boyfriend who I had been in an on-again-off-again relationship with for 4.5 years. It was an unhealthy and mostly unfulfilling relationship, but I thought it was all there was to real love. I thought I could do no better. That no better even existed. And then I met Erin’s brother Scott after coming home from London. As I got to know him better, I began to trust in myself to leave behind that other relationship that I wore like comfortable, ratty old jeans. London not only provided the opportunity to meet Scott, but also the confidence to pursue him. For that reason, in a way, as long as I have Scott, I’ll always have London.

You may call that all a coincidence or a lucky twist of fate. I call it God preparing the way for my entire future.