To Doula or not to Doula?

Just minutes after delivery! :) Photo taken by our doula

I didn't know much going into pregnancy, but it wasn't long after finding out I was pregnant before I firmly decided I wanted a natural labor and delivery, with no pain medications or unnecessary medical interventions (internal fetal monitoring, IV, forceps, episiotomy, etc..). For delivery, I basically had two choices (b/c home birth was never something I considered for my first--and prob not for my next one either!). I could deliver at the hospital in town and use my current OB/GYN, or I could deliver at the birthing center in Savannah. One of my good friends had recently delivered at the birthing center and had a wonderful experience. But due to our working schedules and the time commitment it would take to do prenatal visits in Savannah, combined with the fact that Scott and I both had some major health issues as newborns, we decided it would be best to deliver at the hospital in town. I didn't know anyone who had delivered naturally at the hospital, and I knew they also had a high rate of C-section births. I was extremely nervous that I would be pressured by nurses and doctors to get an epidural or even to have a C-section. I knew I wanted to be as informed as possible about the process of labor and ways to manage the pain, but I worried that in the heat of the moment I would forget or not have the energy to fight my case. And I didn't want Scott to worry about standing up for me when he should be focused on helping me breathe and push and all that jazz. So, I decided to hire a doula. (What is a doula? Find out here.)

I guess I just thought the doula would be my advocate and empower me to maintain my resolve. I didn't really know what else she would do.

Well, Emily Bohannon, my doula, ended up being SO much more than that. In fact, I was not pressured whatsoever at the hospital. She did help me maintain my resolve about breastfeeding, post-delivery, but I didn't need any help sticking with my decision to not get an epidural. Honestly, it never even occurred to me to ask for an epidural. I know that sounds crazy, but it didn't. I was too focused on what I was doing to think about it.

So, was it worth it to hire a doula? Yes, yes, YES!! I would, and probably will, do it again! Why?

+ Emily met with me early in my pregnancy (around 12 weeks), went over her contract, explained her role in labor and delivery, and suggested resources and tools for me to look into. Because of her, I watched The Business of Being Born, Scott read a book about the Bradley Method, and I read a book about breastfeeding which took me from considering it to committed to it!

+ Emily was an available resource throughout  my entire pregnancy. She checked in periodically, recommended new resources she discovered along the way, and she was available when I was struggling with some, ahem, downstairs issues.

+ She met with me around 36 weeks to go over laboring positions, techniques and positions to help manage pain, and to show me her "bag of tricks" which included essential oils and other tools that could distract me from pain (such as a rubber ball to hit against the bed rail and a hair comb to squeeze during contractions).

+ She met with me the day before my estimated due date to administer acupressure. I suggest this method to everyone b/c I started having contractions just hours after! Coincidence? We'll never know!

+ She asked if I could eat dinner at the hospital, which we all assumed was a no. And I got to eat Zaxby's chicken salad and a milkshake as a result! :)

+ She suggested varying activities and positions throughout labor to help with pain and progressing labor. 

+ She massaged my back and shoulders with essential oils and rubbed peppermint oil on my chest whenever I felt nauseated. 

+ Emily helped me get into the shower during labor and sprayed my back with warm water (so helpful!!)

+ She spoke encouraging words to me throughout. I'll never forget how she told me to think about how Jesus has felt every pain that we feel on Earth. How, though he did not experience childbirth, he felt my pain as he went to the cross, and he overcame it. I'm not sure I've ever felt as close to Christ as I did at that moment. It was incredibly comforting and reassuring.
+ She reminded me to use low sounds during contractions. High pitched screams or cries (or just crying in general) uses more energy and is less effective at working through the pain. I had to be reminded of this over and over and over! And, admittedly, there were a couple times I wanted to tell her to shut up! But I was a good student and obeyed her reminders as much as possible, and I truly believe it helped.
+ I was constantly reminded that I could do it! By her presence alone, I was encouraged and strengthened. I knew I had someone on my team who had two natural deliveries herself and had helped several other women have successful natural deliveries. She was a reminder that it was possible.

I've heard from several friends reasons why they would not want a doula. Not trying to discredit those reasons, because I believe labor is extremely personal and you should do what makes YOU comfortable, but I want to give my personal reasons why these issues didn't bother me.

1. My husband is my birth coach. Why do I need another one?

I wanted Scott to be there for me and encourage me, but I didn't want him to feel any pressure about coaching me. I didn't want him focused on trying to remember what he had read in various books. I didn't want him stressed about how he can "fix" things for me. Knowing him, he would take on too much responsibility for my pain management and it would lead to more stress for everyone. Scott certainly helped in many ways. And Emily put him to work with massaging, encouraging me, etc... He was an active part of my team. But it was nice that he could be really focused on me and what was happening and not worrying about what he should be doing to help.

2. I don't want a stranger in there with me while I'm pushing a baby out of my hooha!

Hate to break it to you, but there will be many strangers in there while you're doing that! A crew of nurses, your doctor, and who the heck knows who else might be stopping by! (I kid...sort of) I did not think of Emily as a stranger. Yes, I knew her before this, but we were never close. But after meeting with her a few times during pregnancy, and after hours of labor, she didn't feel like a stranger. Labor comes gradually. You don't just start out making crazy noises and getting naked! You work up to that. By the time you get to that part, you're totally comfortable with your doula. And to be honest, by the actual pushing phase, you really don't care who is looking. You're just focused on pushing! Also, for me, it was empowering to have someone less familiar in there with me. I felt a little like I needed to be strong. If it were just Scott or some other family member, I might be more tempted to break down. But with a doula, I felt like I needed to be tough. Like I COULD be tough! It was encouraging.

3. I've done all the research. I have a plan. I don't need a doula.

Yeah...you get to a certain point in labor that your memory is probably not all that sharp. When you're dealing with the pain of frequent contractions, you're not really taking the time to plan your next position or coping mechanism. (I.e.: you will forget to make low moans because you're just reacting to pain. It helps to have someone there to remind you and encourage you. It just does.)

4. Having a baby is expensive enough! I can't afford a doula!

Maybe you really can't afford one. But if there is any possibility that you could swing it, it's totally worth it! I promise!!

5. It's just weird. Doctors know what they're doing. I'm just going to do what they tell me. 

The doctor is usually only there at the very end. Mine barely made it in time to "catch" the baby! And yes, there are nurses, but they are busy. They won't be with you the whole time. They more or less just check in with you periodically. Sure, if you're having an epidural and plan to just lay on your back throughout labor, there may not be a reason to hire a doula (though you might still find it helpful!). But if you're going to have a natural labor and delivery, you will likely not want to do it alone! And there will not be nurses or doctors in there suggesting ways for you to manage the pain. And for me personally, laying on my back would be the WORST way to manage my pain! I don't think I spent any time on my back at all. (I didn't even deliver on my back!) If I just laid there and tried to deal, I don't think I could have done it. Plus, massage with essential oils? Come on! Who wouldn't like that? Labor or not! 

So, friends, I think it's safe to say that I highly recommend having a doula. Particularly if you think you want to try a natural delivery. And, just as an additional note, it is a fact that women are more likely to deliver naturally when they have a doula. And I have friends who have taken the "I'll just see how it goes and tough it out as long as I can. If it hurts too bad I'll get the epidural" route. Yeah. It's going to hurt that bad. So go ahead and plan the epidural if that's your tactic. But if you're serious about doing it naturally, have a plan. And I recommend making a doula part of that plan! :)

*If you would like more information about my experience, please feel free to contact me!*