10 months!

Daddy just did his first 1/2 marathon! Woohoo! :)

 

Dear Grayson,

People often ask how old you are, and I keep telling them that you'll be a year old in two more months. I keep telling them, but I hardly believe it. 1-year old? That doesn't sound right. I have a baby, not a 1-year old! Not a toddler! A baby! I'm not quite ready to let go of that idea.

For some reason this month it's hitting me harder than before--this concept of aging and the ridiculous speed of time passing. It's always the same. Cheering you on as you reach each new milestone. Waiting eagerly for you to do the next big thing. At the exact same moment, I'm mourning the loss of your infancy. I look down on you in wonder as I hold you in my lap and you cover my body with yours. I try to visualize the days when you were so tiny, when I needed a pillow to support my arm because I was being so careful to elevate your little head and perfectly cradle your sweet body. Now I rest my arm on the side of the chair and you sprawl yourself across my lap. No need for support. You are your own support. You can hold your head up, pop up into sitting, and then pull yourself to standing in my lap. You lay across me by choice now, which carries it's own form a sweetness. But a large part of me misses those days of being your everything. Your blossoming independence and adventurous personality is a bitter sweet thing. 

You are so busy these days! It's all Daddy and I can do to keep up with you! From the moment you wake up, you start exploring! You rapidly crawl around the room, pull up on every piece of furniture, curiously pointing to everything, grabbing toys and books and holding them out for us to see. You love to share your discoveries with us. 

You smile a lot and are laughing more and more. You have the best sense of humor! My favorite smiles are those you share first thing in the morning. I sit you in my lap and look into your eyes and ask about your night. How did you sleep? Did you have sweet dreams? Your eyes light up, just brightening from the soft glaze of sleepiness, and your mouth opens into an excited grin. It's the most perfect way to start my day. 

Some things that have made you laugh lately include Mommy and Daddy making snorting noises, being tickled, and Mommy and Daddy making crazy faces at you. You also think it's funny to crawl away, like you're going to leave the room, and then turning around and crawling back to us at lightening speed! We make sure you see how excited and happy we are about your return, which can throw you into a fit of giggles. Before we know it, we're all laughing! You brighten our home and bring it to life!

I love hearing your sweet little voice as you babble and form new words all the time. You've added to your vocabulary, your own variations of the words duck, star, dog, and even thank you! I was completely amazed this past weekend when Auntie handed you a toy, I said, "Say thank you!" and you said, "tank ku." Auntie and I were so thrilled, she said, "You're so awesome!" To which you replied, "tank ku!" It was perfect! I haven't gotten you to say it again yet, but I know you are brilliant and will be saying it regularly soon. :) Also, "dada" is starting to sound more like "daddy," and you've finally starting saying "mama," albeit sparingly!

Your favorite toys, shows, songs, and books haven't changed much in the past month. You've recently grown an attachment to a little stuffed black bear. You don't require him to sleep, but you love snuggling with him, chewing on his nose, and playing with him in your carseat. He has become a staple for traveling! We also discovered a new show called Big Bugs Band that you love! As soon as the intro music starts, you are hooked! Sometimes you even bob to the music and try to sing along! You also enjoy VeggieTales more and more, particularly the intro song. As soon as that tuba starts playing, you turn expectantly to the TV and sometimes even start clapping. 

Speaking of clapping, you do that a lot! Sometimes you amaze us at how close you can clap in-time with the music. I think you might have some percussion playing in your future! I know you are going to grow up loving music--and I will not be surprised if you're like your daddy and can play multiple instruments. Miss Tami at school already tells us you are great at the piano!

You love Miss Tami and Miss Mineko. You love school. This makes it so much easier for Mommy and Daddy to go to work each day, knowing that you are having fun in a safe and educational environment. Unfortunately, you are going through a phase of separation anxiety and you have started crying when we drop you off. I hope this phase is short-lived because it breaks my heart to hear you crying and see your little face scrunched up in sorrow as I'm walking out the door. I know you actually love it there, so I can still leave with confidence. But that doesn't make it easy.

You're eating more and more these days, which is great! Your very favorite food is black beans. You can eat them by the handful. You also eat puffs by the handful. And bread. And really anything. Sometimes we have to pull some food out of your mouth because you just stuff too much in there at once. Silly boy! You are also making us more aware of the state of floors. Vacuuming has never been more important as we have once fished a sliver of cat nail out of mouth (lovely) and watched you hold out a tuft of cat fur or piece of something and then shoved it into your mouth before we could retrieve it from you! Choking hazards have become a very real concern, and I'm constantly scanning the room for things you could swallow. 

We've upgraded you to a new carseat. You're still rear-facing, and will be for a long time yet. You seem to like your new seat, though it is a little harder to get you in and out versus the infant carrier. We also purchased a Noggle, so you have direct airflow now. AND we got the car windows tinted. You are riding in style!

You're working on your two front teeth on the top. One of them has already cut through the tiniest bit. The other you can feel when you push on your gums. Thankfully you haven't been too fussy as a result. But you haven't let us off the hook completely! You haven't been the best sleeper this week and you often end up in Mommy and Daddy's bed. But that's okay. We like to snuggle. :)

As you become more and more of a big boy, I'm realizing how many expectations of me are coming up. The questions have already started flowing in. It's as if everyone expects you to no longer have any characteristics of a baby once you are a year old. When are you taking away the pacifier? When will you wean him? Aren't you sleep training yet? You're not still nursing/rocking to sleep, are you?? Sheesh! It's all a little overwhelming and I can't help being a bit defensive. I don't like this restrictive time limit the world is putting on you and me. I'm content to let you take your time. Keep being a baby. There's still time to grow up. I promise I won't need to rock you to sleep in high school. It's going to be okay!

You still don't sleep through the night. Not even close. But I'm also not worried about that. Despite the expectations of so many, I know lots of babies who continue to wake during the night until they're closer to 3 years old. Sure, I want more sleep. If you feel compelled to sleep through the night, you won't see me stopping you! But I'm not stressed about adopting some sort of training method to teach you to sleep better. It will come when it comes. 

Last month you were still weighing in around 20 pounds and 28 1/4 inches long. Surprisingly, you haven't grown much since you were 6 months! I attribute it to all the crawling. But it's strange that the numbers haven't changed much, yet you're wearing some 2T clothes... !! You wear everything from 9 months to 2T. It varies by brand and style. So, I don't know how the numbers are the same, but you, my little friend, are definitely growing!!

Beyond all the updates of what you're doing and how you're growing, I want you to know one important thing. Daddy and I love you more than words can say. You bring such joy into our lives. And you've stolen my heart by, finally, saying "Mama!" And no matter how much you grow, no matter how many awesome things you can do, no matter if you no longer fit in my lap or nurse to sleep, you will ALWAYS be my sweet baby who I love with all my heart!