Lately my identity and sense of self has been revolving around my schedule. Every role that I play and identity that I claim seems to be overwhelming marked by events lately. Lately opportunities to take a breath have been few and far between, much less time to just be.
Most of you know me pretty well. You know who I am and what my roles and responsibilities are. For those of you who may not know me as well, I'll take this time to share. Take a breath now--you may not find much time for one once you start reading this!
First and foremost, I am a Christian. This always should be, and usually is, evidenced by my loving, gracious, and giving nature that shows through all that I do and in every role I fulfill. But for scheduling's sake, we can say it's evidenced by going to church every Sunday, working in Konnection Kids at least once a month, attending couples small group once a week, and spending 30 minutes first thing every morning praying and studying the Word.
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Engagement Picture Dec. 2008 |
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Another Engagement Picture Dec. 08 |
I am a wife, as evidenced by regular household chores (which we share) such as cleaning, cooking, managing money, etc... I also require quality time with my husband in the evenings and weekends. Second to my relationship with God, this is the part of my identity that I value the most. Honestly, spending time with Scott is just as good (or even better) than that "just being me" time.
I am a student, which means I spend 11 hours a week in class, and many more hours studying and completing assignments, papers, and projects.
I am a Grad. Assistant in Continuing Education, which means I work 20 hours a week on campus, and sometimes more depending on the events we have scheduled.
I am a daughter, meaning I talk to my parents periodically and I try to visit them at least once every few months. I would LOVE to visit them more often, but (as you'll notice) I don't always have the time, especially since my dad lives 3.5 hours away and my mom lives 5 hours away. To visit each of them would be at
least 2 separate weekend trips.
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My mom & her husband Mike |
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Daddy & my niece Kyli
Checkin' out the news
Christmas 2010
PS--that's Emily (Kyli's mom) & her husband Kevin in the background.
Notice the baby bump. They now have another little girl! Keirra Bushey! |
I am a daughter-in-law, so I also try to visit my in-laws at least once every few months. Again, they live 3.5 hours away--it's a weekend trip.
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Me with Scott's family. Easter 2010 |
I am a sister & sister-in-law, I have a step-brother, a step-sister, a sister, a brother, and a sister-in-law. None of them live together or even close to one another. None of them live closer than 3.5 hours away from me. Go ahead and schedule a few more weekend trips....
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Me and my sister Alora. Summer 2010 |
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Me and my brother Brett. October 2010 |
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Me and the sibs at my wedding. Love them!
May 2009 |
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Me and best friends Hayley & Kaitin
Friends since we were little!
December 2010 |
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Me and my friend April
She and I worked together,
had classes together,
and basically love each other
because we're both so
amazing. The end. |
I am a friend to many. You can see this recently as in the past month I've been invited to 2 baby showers, 2 bridal showers, 1 engagement party, 1 house warming party, 1 girls' night out, 2 graduation parties, and 1 going away party--most of which I attended or plan to attend. Some of which are on the SAME weekends but about 4 hours away from each other.
I am an aunt. My niece lives 4 hours away from me, and at least 1 hour away from any other relative that I would visit/spend the weekend with. I only see her a few times a year which is heartbreaking. Her 2nd birthday party is coming up and it's on the same weekend as my sister-in-law's graduation in which all of her family will be staying at my house...4 hours away from my niece's party. So, I'll either skip town and do an 8-hour day-trip to Atlanta, or I'll miss her party.
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Me and Kyli--the most amazing and beautiful niece a girl could ask for!
Christmas 2010. Playing in the snow. :) |
I am a granddaughter, cousin, niece, etc... and b/c of all my other roles, I usually only see these extended family members around Christmas...and only for a very short time b/c I'm busy running around creation trying to see everyone in a week's time.
And of course with all these roles and relationships also comes birthdays, anniversaries, Mother's & Father's Days, vacations, and other holiday celebrations. I often feel like my all my time is spent fulfilling these roles, scheduling every minute of my life (and certainly every weekend) to accommodate the plans and desires of SO MANY people. Don't get me wrong, I love it. I really do. I'm SO blessed to have all these people in my life and I wouldn't trade it for all the "me time" in the world. But sometimes, every now and then, I would like a weekend or at least a day to just SIT. To just BE. To read, watch Gilmore Girls or other pointless TV shows, to watch several movies in a row with my husband, to nap, to daydream, to write/journal, to sing, to dance, to workout without feeling like I'm in a time crunch.... It's hard b/c as much as I want those things, I also want to be with my family and friends and be there for them in their celebrations and times of need. I get so sad thinking about how much I miss my family and friends. It seems like I must see them all the time, but the truth is, there are so many of them that even though I'm seeing PEOPLE all the time, I only see each person every now and then.
So, that's my dilema these days.... I have so much going on, part of me wishes I had time for even more, and then I also wish that I could stop the time altogether and just focus on being me--apart from all the rest. But then again, I guess "all the rest" is what really makes me who I am anyway.
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Zoe Cat. Can't forget about her!
I'm also Mom Cat.
Doesn't take too much time.
But still.
Worth mentioning... |
Here's to hoping for rest in Christ and enjoying all the moments of my life (no matter how busy!)...
~Christy