Bugs, Ghosts, and Not Seeing You in Heaven...

Day 7: What am I most afraid of? Oh, I could go on and on! I will start by posting pictures of me making a scared and/or scary face! You're welcome.

21st birthday...just scary. As was my dancing that night, I'm sure.

2007. We were in Dover, England in one of the underground tunnels of the Dover Castle.
It was pitch black so we took a "scared" picture.
And yes, I look terrifying!

2008. Camping on our 1-year dating anniversary.
We were at a camp ground that used to be a military prison.
These were our scared faces, thinking about the possible ghosts! 

2012. Our best old horror movie interpretation...though we've been told it's more sitcom-y. 

There are so many scarier ones, but I have to be honest and say the first thing that comes to mind is BUGS! Particularly spiders, roaches, and bees!  I have the most nightmares about suddenly realizing there are spiders all around me and spider webs everywhere I turn, trapping me or forcing me to go through them! I’ve also woken up kicking and screaming on more than one occasion due to a dream about spiders crawling up my legs. :/ Roaches mostly just gross me out more than scare me. But I will freak out if one gets on me! And bees, hornets, wasps, and the like keep me on high alert when I’m outdoors in the spring. I try so hard to be brave and not freak out, but the best I can do is hide my head under my arms and just pray that the bee will fly away before I start screaming and doing the bee dance.

As previously mentioned, I’m scared of small spaces and water. Both of these have to do with not getting enough air. Not being able to breathe is one of the scariest notions to me. I almost feel panicked just thinking about it.

I’m terrified of ghosts and demons. Some people laugh and say those things are not real and I should be more concerned about robbers and rapists and other real-life scary people. I can’t help it. There is no proof that ghosts are not real, and I truly believe demons are real because the Bible says they are. Fortunately I have the Holy Spirit within me so I don’t have to worry about these things, but I can still scare the daylights out of myself by watching a scary movie or just imagining what might be lurking in the darkness when I wake up in the middle of the night to pee (which unfortunately happens quite frequently now that I’m pregnant!).

I’m afraid of car accidents. Not to the point that I can’t drive or anything, but I think getting into an accident that kills someone—whether in your car or the other car—would be absolutely horrifying. How can you keep going through life having experienced something like that? And the GUILT if you were to blame for the wreck! I shudder to think about it!

I’m scared of losing loved ones. I don’t know what I would do without my husband, and I hope I never have to find out. I came dangerously close to losing both my siblings last year and it made me sick with worry and fear. And with this little one growing in my womb, I hate to think of something happening to him. I know this fear will only continue to grow once he’s born.

I’m afraid of my loved ones not accepting Christ. I have so many unbelievers or “lukewarm” believers in my family. I have literally sobbed uncontrollably over this before. I worry that I’m not doing enough to show them Jesus. I worry that they will be too stubborn or stuck in their own sin and misconstrued notions to humble and submit themselves to God. I worry that they will face a life of misery and emptiness because of it, and will ultimately suffer eternally, and I will never see them in Heaven. I can’t think of a worse thing.

Even though some of these smaller fears are more prevalent on a day-to-day basis (stupid bees in my back yard!!!), losing my loved ones not only to earthly death, but also spiritual death is what I am most afraid of. I just pray that God works miracles in their lives and they submit to Him before it’s too late. And in the meantime, I know God does not call me to live in fear. So I must turn to Him for comfort and peace.

These are just a few of my fears. What are YOU most afraid of?